The Cookies Are That Good / by Cyle Talley

I went to the bakery the other day because I wanted a cookie. This bakery makes, among other things, oatmeal cookies that are warm clouds of molasses and brown sugar, and I'm not ashamed to tell you that I wanted one for breakfast.  

The bakery is very popular and it is always filled to capacity with people waiting in line. Many of these people wear caps or tee shirts or fleece vests emblazoned with the call letters for the local NPR radio affiliate- swag from previous years' fund raising drives. 

I too was waiting in line when I noticed that the woman behind the counter was shouting, "I can help who's ever next!"

"Is that a contraction?" I thought to myself. "Who is ever?" Or is she saying "Whose ever", which would denote ownership, and so she would be announcing that she can serve someone's other- which is confusing, and maybe lewd?

She said it again and again, and each time it clanged like a broken cymbal. I wondered if it was bothering anyone else, or if any parents were concerned about their children being exposed to such language. I myself nearly walked out- but I just couldn't. The time came for my other to be served and I, despite my trepidation, approached the counter gladly.

The cookies are that good.